Friday, November 23, 2007

Zen wisdom from the South Pacific

~There are days when the best thing that will happen to you is not getting hit on the head by a falling coconut.

~Let sleepings dogs lie. Otherwise, they will bite you.

~"If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?"
"A hermit crab," my family decided last weekend. They then explained that they are easy to catch in the morning because "they like to sleep in, just like you."

~When it rains, it pours...if I've just put my clean laundry outside to dry.

Also, randomly, guess who is faster than me on my bicycle?
1) A small child sprinting.
2) A twelve year-old kid carrying another twelve year-old on the handlebars of his bike.
Awesome. I will continue to update this category as necessary.

Lastly, in lieu of doing a cliched "things I'm thankful for..." post, here are a few things I've seen here in the FSM that have already made my journey more than worth it.

I'm sitting on the floor in church in Pohnpei. All is relatively calm and still, but there's a little kid running up and down the side aisle nearest me. As he runs by a woman (presumedly not his mother), she reaches out and pats him on the head. He keeps running for what must have been 15 seconds, then walks back to the woman, slaps her (really hard!) on the thigh, and walks back to his seat. WHAT?

So I live on what is (no joke) one of the rainiest islands on earth. One gray morning, I woke up to the sound of POUNDING rain over my head. I walk out to have breakfast, and my mom laughingly tells me to go look outside.
"Your soris floated away," she says.
Now my family likes to joke around, so I assume this to be a lie. When I then open the door in order to humor her, I see that all of our shoes have literally been carried all the way down the side of the house on a torrent of water. This is not something you can see in Denver.

Before I officially started teaching at my site, I was visiting for a practicum day. Now, our school is situated such that all of the doors face the outside; they are padlocked shut. I was supposed to be teaching a first period class of 9th graders, but their teacher, I soon learned was out sick. I approached another teacher, asking him if he had the key. He smiled and said:
"Hold on. I'll go get the master key."
Now it was early, mind you, otherwise I might have wondered how you could have a "master key" to a bunch of padlocks. But I didn't. Then he returned, brandishing a hammer. He pulled the entire contraption, lock, hinges, and all, off of my door and proudly said, "There you go."

Friday, November 2, 2007

Style & Grace (or, "Me and my bicycle"); Everything I really need to know I learned in Walung

So, the PC hasn't actually issued us our bikes yet (a point of no contention, as I'm sure you'd guess); however, my host family here has become in the habit of lending me one of their bicycles to use. Now, you know the old saying--about anything--"oh, it comes back in a second. Just like riding a bike"? Well, I'm willing to bet that whoever made that up has never attempted to ride a bike sporting a long skirt and flip-flops, ill-balanced messenger bag slung over one shoulder. But that's another story.
Today I'd like to present to you a couple of shining examples of the fun I have had riding a bicycle here, where every trip is really an adventure. Young, carefree PCV has just begun her (soon-to-be weekly) bike odyssey on the road leading from Tofol (the capital) to her home. Dusk is just starting to think about falling. And action.

Out of nowhere, this crazyvicious-looking dog runs onto the road out of nowhere, clearly craving the taste of human flesh (but preferably that sweet, juicy flesh of the Homo homo sapienas americanus). Unsuspecting girl looks behind her, freaks out, and starts yelling "Teok! Teok!" literally at the top of her lungs. (This is probably Kosraen for some very bad word. She's not really sure.) Girl speeds up as fast as she can (still shouting) and pulls her right ankle up well above the crossbar, removing the tasty morsel from the eager, terrifying, (and, yet, not very tall) jaws of impending doom. Girl succeeds, hoping that no one was around to witness this ridiculous ordeal. End scene.

Another awesome bicycle incident befell said girl last weekend when she was least suspecting it. After running her bike off of the road and into a ditch, losing both her sunglasses and her dignity (but that's another story), our protagonist resolved to be very careful the rest of the way home. As usual, however, her procrastination meant that she was finishing her journey virtually in the dark. She becomes excited as she passes onto her street, confident that she has successfully avoiding having two embarrssing bicycle crashes in the same trip. As she passes her neighborhood store, she calls out "Eke wo" to the people sitting there.
One guy calls back "Eke wo. Kom lungse chocolate?"
Now here's where the ambiguity of the Kosraen language really starts causing trouble. Is this man merely offering an informational query ["You like chocolate?], or is this figure, now mainly veiled in shadows, offering our heroine chocolate out of the dark? In other words, small talk, or prelude to crazy real-life episode of True Crime? Well, as her mind has been working through all these cogitations, her feet have continued to pedal, the wheels have continued to spin, and Megan's head has turned progressively further and further around, toward the speaker of the confusing statement...and she's hit a giant (and very familiar, unfortunately speedbump). She recovers her balance in the nick of time, all still without a clue of what's actually just happened.

And now for something completely different...so, last weekend, our training class tromped out to Walung for "cultural activities"--though I think that it was designed as a break from the monotony of training as much as anything else. It was an odd melange of things: Berenstein Bears' Vacation weather, picture postcard setting, and a place of lodging that would have pleased Hitchcock and unnerved Edgar Allen Poe. But that's all for another time (when I'm not paying for Internet by the millisecond anymore).
For the moment, I present: "Everything I really need to know I learned in Walung"

1) Making fun of other people for taking Dramamine is never good karma

2) Snorkeling (anywhere!) can be fun, depending upon the degree to which you adjust your expectations. ("Ooh! Look! A rock!!!" "Oh yeah? I found mangrove roots. What what!")

3) Pigs can swim(!?!)

4) Contrary to popular belief, a higher proportion of yelling DOES NOT yield a higher proportion of caught fish while net-fishing

5) A coconut tree is a hell of a lot taller on the way down than on the way up

And, with that, I leave you for the moment. By next post will be as an OFFICIAL Peace Corps Volunteer. Expect great things (haha).